JUST AN OBSERVATION

THE FOLLOWING IS FROM MYSPACE.

Being a wrestler is hard man. Just when you think you are knowing what you need to know as a performer (Don't worry, folks, I don't know nuffin, yet!) then you have "The Whole Other Side" to contend with. Some day I will write the difinitive book on "How To Become A Pro Wrestler For Dummies" but for now I am noticing that I wish someone had already written that book.

"So you want to be a wrestler?" That's what any teacher worth his or her salt say's in your introduction to wrestling school, then they procede to knock the holy living crap out of you. Actually, a little known secret for you none wrestlers out there, you begin knocking the holy living crap out of yourself, wrestlers will know what I mean. You learn how to be a monkey, or do monkeys, havn't made that determination yet, and learn how to land without breaking your back, or bumping as they call it. Then those crazy sob's want you to string moves together! Oh, simple you say? I beg to differ. Imagine this, if you will, you just get done running the Boston Marathon in all your couch potatoe glory, so you feel like you want to die. Your heart is racing at a pace dangerously close to thumping out of your chest, and they want you to think on your feet, call your spots (your set of moves) while telling a story with your body, and it has to be kept interesting. Then you realise you have eight more minutes to go, you have only wrestled two! And you do this over, and over and over.

And over.

So, you get all that down. You learn your monkeys, you learn how to unfold a match (In my case, still learning) you learn how to string the crowd along. You learn how to think on your feet (As opposed to your back, it works for me) you learn how to get chopped, slapped, kicked, punched, booted, landed on, catching, falling, butted (as in head) flying, tossing-over-the-ropes, poked, prodded and GOD knows what else. Then you learn how to recipprocate. And forget how to spell. And learn to sell. I made a rhymie! =-)

Ok, now all you have to do is hone all that, right?

WRONG!

Now these MO FO's want you to learn how to talk! Not easy to do my friends. You run the risk of sounding like a dweeb, stupid or just down right assanine, a field I have cornered. There is a fine science. Learning how to talk sh*t whilst not burying who you are talking about. Ok, you can make your opponent sound like a piece of crap, good. All you did is make it so if you lose, you lost to a piece of crap. Or you win the match, all you did is win over a piece of crap. This talking stuff is harder then it looks. Oh, Piper, where are you when I need you?

So, ok, you master talking good. Now you are ready to take the wrestling world by storm, right?

WRONG!

Locker room ettiquette. Oh, great, the thought brings visions of high school towel snapping and of someone throwing your clothes on a shower room floor. But, that is the easy part, and falls under the ribs catagory to be covered in a second. No, in LRE (Locker room ettiquette) learning how and when to defer to veterans. Who to approach with what question. Learning how to shut the hell up and do the most important thing of all: LISTEN.

Ok, time for ribbing.

As a new wrestler, when I attain such status that is, I can expect to be ribbed (practical joked) to absolute distraction. There are several reasons for this, one, it passes time for road weary wrestlers. It is a time honored tradition. And for the newbies, it serves as an excellent barometer to see if you can hang, to be allowed into the fraternity as one of the boys. I can expect my mind to be messed with, my body, my being and my overall sanity to be put through the ringer. And don't complain! Don't whine. Literally grin and bear it.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Before you get to the stage where you are allowed to learn LRE and ribbing, you actually have to work. Land a job. And oh what that entails...

So, you have been to wrestling school, learned the basics, begin to develop a character, or rather develop a character bestowed upon you, now what do you do? Let's see, put in my time, invented a whole new side of myself that drives my immediate family and friends nuts because to them all I did was equivilant to joining the circus (I am speaking in general terms, not me personally), why arn't the wrestling promoters beating down my door? And what do they mean, they never heard of me??? Ok, so they want me to send a resume. Damn, run across the time honored problem of you don't have a job because you don't have experience, and you can't gain experience until you land a job. And no, they mean experience in front of a paying crowd, you schmucks. And a video? They want a video? Let's think about this. You don't have a job. You need a job. You can't give them a video of yourself because you don't have a job. Oh, I suppose I could put something together that was filmed at school while I was learning my craft, you know, back when I was still confused between what a headlock and a drop toe hold was. Yeah, that'll make me look good.

But, as luck would have it, you finally find a promoter that will take a chance on the new guy. Or rather, needs a filler match to round out his card for the event he is putting together. So you fill in the comfortable role of being filler, and trying to not stink up the joint. But hey! Got a match, which means experience, which means a higher quality video to be made to be marketed around to land more work, right?

Well, sort of.

And yes, I am aware I used up my word quota for filler in the above paragraph, so kiss off.

At some point you become aware that several states have licensing requirements to work in. Great. $15.00 here, $25.00 dollars there. Need a physical, don't you know! And that promoter you finally talked into giving you a chance wants to work you in each of those states. Wonderful.

So you get licensed. Cool. I am on my way.

1200 mile weeks, by car, for $20.00 here, a hot dog and a beer there as your payoff. After going through all that which is listed above, you now have a job paying way less then what you could be making part time at 7-11, with the benefit of sleeping in your own bed at night.

Damn, that was a lot of work for that "privlidge."





And speaking for "the boy's", we wouldn't dream of doing anything else. Ever.

Ok, just felt like sharing that with you all. And for the record, I am somewhere in the above mentioned process, with a lot to look forward to do.

Currently watching: WWE - The American Dream - The Dusty Rhodes Story Release date: By 06 June, 2006