 | In Lieu OF WRESTLING TRAINING RECAP...
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Category: Jobs, Work, Careers Hello, all!
For a second weekend in a row, no wrestling. But we should be up and at em again real soon, I'll let you all know when I know!
So, in lieu of a wrestling training recap I'll just avail you of me wonderful weekend...
But first, a little stage setting...
***BLACK STAGE, SOFT MUSIC AND A SPOTLIGHT ON A HIGH BACKED CHAIR..GLASS OF WINE ON TABLE AND A VASE WITH A SINGLE ROSE IN IT***
***SOFT DRUMROLL, OUT WALKS TGO WITH QUIET YET SUSTAINED APPLAUSE WITH THE SPOTLIGHT FOLLOWING HIM TO THE CHAIR***
(Wearing a black tux, stylish tophat and a walking cane, the story begins...)
AHH- HEMMM
"Good evening ladies and germs. Thank you for attending this fine, fine evening. **taking off tophat and discarding the cane, doffing the fine coat and sitting on the oversized chair** As you may know I have taken the last couple of weekends off from wrestling, and as such, I needed to find a way to occupy my time. Now, as it may not excite you as my chronicles of headlocks and moonsaults, it IS an aspect of my life that I choose to share with you all. So, if you are strictly blood and guts kind of people...SIT RIGHT THERE OR I WILL EXECUTE A MOONSAULT OFF THIS STAGE STRAIGHT ONTO YOUR MONKEY ASS!
Good.
***TAKING SIP OF MOSCATO WINE*** ***SPITTING OUT*** ***WHO STOLE MY RIPPLE?!!!***
***LET'S BEGIN***
Friday evening I arrived at the girlies at 6 pm on the button (Don't be late!). After sitting on the couch and reading the newspaper, the girlie served up an awsome dinner of spaghetti. Boy that sure was good! After dinner she turned on the tv and our Friday night ritual of watching "Most Haunted" got underway. This is always fun as you see, I don't believe in ghosts. I firmly believe that once you die you get either sucked up to Heavan, or sucked down to Hell. You don't have the option of hanging around, but hey, that's just me. Houdini, the worlds greatest magician, stated that upon his death, if it was at all possible to come back he would make a sign for everyone where there would be absolutely no doubt. And the man died on Holloween as well, if that isn't a recipe for setting up the right circumstances to come back, nothing ever will be. His widow held seance after seance on the anniversary of his death for years afterwards to no avail. Get real folks, there is no such things as ghosts and goblins or anything else that goes bump in the night.
The girlie, on the other hand, used to live in a haunted house.
Not just A haunted house, but THE haunted house in Albany. It was Albany's first hospital, and the place dates back to the mid 1800's. She say's that she heard noises and such, and Karter, who was four at the time, took to not going downstairs to pee at night, he took to going in the corner of the bedroom. When she asked him why he was doing that he said because the old lady on the stairs won't let him pass. Now, I could argue that children in that age group have excellent imaginations and oftentimes even fabricate invisable friends. And I have argued that very thing, but the girlie, well she saw the old coot herself. So either his imagination is so good he can project his visions for her to see, or she actually saw a ghost. I must state unequivocally here that she is not taken to flights of fancy, and I believe she saw something, I just don't believe it was a ghost. Maybe her imagination conjured up the spook. Maybe a fleeting shadow from a drape being blown in the wind from an open window cast a very ghostlike imge in her psyche. Or, who knows, maybe I am wrong and there are ghost and she saw one. Who knows?
Anywho...
We verbally joust through the show, she offers up points that prove her theory, I offer up how some guy in the other room could be rapping on the wall for the sake of good television. I mean, there HAS to be spooky goings on, right? Who would watch a haunting show with no spooky stuff going on. But I digress.
After a half hour of being scared out of my seat, I promptly fell asleep.
I woke up about an hour later and shuffled off to bed. Friday night was, officially, in the books."
***INSTRUMENTAL BREAK***
"Ok. Saturday morning broke over the horizen and it was clear and cold. I woke up at 11 am (I am usually up around 8 or 9, but hey, it's the weekend!) and I promptly got into my truck and drove to 7-Eleven for my coffee. When I got into the truck I noticed my cell phone, which was on the charger had some voicemails on it. Upon calling the message place I found out my long lost sister Mishelley (Michele, I call her Mishelley), who I have not talked to in over three years, finally tracked my ass down, so I promptly called her back.
"Two hours later after catching up on her life, and availing her of the awsomness that is her brother and what he has been up to (feel free to gag whenever) we hung up and I spent the rest of the afternoon blissful in just the company of the girlie.
"About 6 I decided that me and the girlie have not done anything together alone in well over the year. Usually we do things as a family, and hey, that is wonderful in and of itself, but sometimes grownups need time away from the kids. So I called up the girlies Mother and asked if she would watch Kelsey and Karter while we went out for a couple hours. She agreed, and one of the best nights we ever had was soon to pass.
"Without even knowing where we were going, we dropped the kids off at her mothers, I went to the bank and took out $80, and we were off to see what trouble we could get in. We ended up at a bar in Jefferson, Oregon where the brother of one of her friends is the bartender. I opened up on a mug of the dark lager beer they had on tap, and the girlie had some drink that tasted so sour it was...well, let's just say it wasn't ordered again. I looked around and noticed everyone was in costume, we happened upon a Holloween party! There were pimps (at least I think THEY were in a costume), and ghouls and goblins. A couple of mad jokers, even a zombie or two were all getting pleasantly schnockered. Another round of beer for me and a strawberrie daiquery followed, and they fired up the kaoroke machine, I looked around me again and decided I was having fun. Among the witches and hobbits and wayward vagabond characters, it hit me...I had the most beautiful girlie in the place. So I leaned over and asked for an eskimo kiss and was told OH HELL NO! The girlie doesn't do SDOPA's! (Spontaneous Displays Of Public Affection). After six years you would have thought I would have learned, but hey, can't blame a guy for trying! The girlie and I so enjoyed kicking back and just people watching. At one point she pointed out some guy dressed in short shorts, a cut off wife beater and a black fro'ish wig who was dancing with a...Penis. Hey, it's a bar, people! You expect wholesome Raggedy Ann and Andies?! So I laughed and chuckled and looked over at the girlie. She wasn't watching the wierdo and the Penis at all, but staring at me, lost in thought. Our hands joined and we could have been the only people in the bar, or the world for that matter, in that very moment. It was magical.
***MUSICAL INTERLUDE***
"Okay, the next round of booze was Coronas, two limes and one lemon please. The girlie decided that she was going to sing a karoake song, so she chose a song from Tracy Chapman (Fast Car?) and wowed the whole place with a very good rendition. The whole bar appreciated it, although I was the only fool holding up a lighter. You had to be there. A last and final round of Coronas with two limes and one lemon saw us safely out the door. (We hung around a bit to make sure we were ok to drive, we are nothing if not responsible)
"A late night stop at Denny's finished off the festivities and we went to pick up the kids. After getting home we went to bed where we fell asleep in each others arms and big smiles on our faces.
"Sunday Morning hits and we decide to go to the pumpkin patch! So, early afternoon we load the kids up, head off to a local instituation called Grandpas and spent a couple hours combing over the fields for just the right pumkins. They had those cutouts, you know where you insert head and snap a picture, so I posed with the kids while the girlie did the honors. We bought 8 pumpkins and was going to spend the evening carving away, and she was going to bake her world famous pumpkin cookies, then finish up the evening watching "Celebrity Paranormal" (Suprise, suprise!) but something wierd happened. Between Grandpas and the house, about a twenty minute drive things went...
"I miss my family and I am sorry I was not able to share in the family tradition this year. That's all I got to say about that.
***In Conclusion***
"If you stayed with this for the ending, boy did you get ripped. But you deserve it, you sat and read more of nothing then you probably deserved. As for me, How glamrous, huh? Just think, TGO is as boring as..well, you.
***Standing up and stretching. Putting jacket and hat back on and picking up cane. Draining the whole glass of Moscato and adjusting bowtie***
Suckers."
***The stage fades to total black.***
*"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, TGO HAS LEFT THE BUILDING"*
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Loser
By Beck
Release date: By 18 January, 1994  | 8:53 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment |
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