In Lieu OF WRESTLING TRAINING RECAP...

Monday, October 30, 2006

In Lieu OF WRESTLING TRAINING RECAP... Current mood: blank Category: Jobs, Work, Careers Hello, all! For a second weekend in a row, no wrestling. But we should be up and at em again real soon, I'll let you all know when I know! So, in lieu of a wrestling training recap I'll just avail you of me wonderful weekend... But first, a little stage setting... ***BLACK STAGE, SOFT MUSIC AND A SPOTLIGHT ON A HIGH BACKED CHAIR..GLASS OF WINE ON TABLE AND A VASE WITH A SINGLE ROSE IN IT*** ***SOFT DRUMROLL, OUT WALKS TGO WITH QUIET YET SUSTAINED APPLAUSE WITH THE SPOTLIGHT FOLLOWING HIM TO THE CHAIR*** (Wearing a black tux, stylish tophat and a walking cane, the story begins...) AHH- HEMMM "Good evening ladies and germs. Thank you for attending this fine, fine evening. **taking off tophat and discarding the cane, doffing the fine coat and sitting on the oversized chair** As you may know I have taken the last couple of weekends off from wrestling, and as such, I needed to find a way to occupy my time. Now, as it may not excite you as my chronicles of headlocks and moonsaults, it IS an aspect of my life that I choose to share with you all. So, if you are strictly blood and guts kind of people...SIT RIGHT THERE OR I WILL EXECUTE A MOONSAULT OFF THIS STAGE STRAIGHT ONTO YOUR MONKEY ASS! Good. ***TAKING SIP OF MOSCATO WINE*** ***SPITTING OUT*** ***WHO STOLE MY RIPPLE?!!!*** ***LET'S BEGIN*** Friday evening I arrived at the girlies at 6 pm on the button (Don't be late!). After sitting on the couch and reading the newspaper, the girlie served up an awsome dinner of spaghetti. Boy that sure was good! After dinner she turned on the tv and our Friday night ritual of watching "Most Haunted" got underway. This is always fun as you see, I don't believe in ghosts. I firmly believe that once you die you get either sucked up to Heavan, or sucked down to Hell. You don't have the option of hanging around, but hey, that's just me. Houdini, the worlds greatest magician, stated that upon his death, if it was at all possible to come back he would make a sign for everyone where there would be absolutely no doubt. And the man died on Holloween as well, if that isn't a recipe for setting up the right circumstances to come back, nothing ever will be. His widow held seance after seance on the anniversary of his death for years afterwards to no avail. Get real folks, there is no such things as ghosts and goblins or anything else that goes bump in the night. The girlie, on the other hand, used to live in a haunted house. Not just A haunted house, but THE haunted house in Albany. It was Albany's first hospital, and the place dates back to the mid 1800's. She say's that she heard noises and such, and Karter, who was four at the time, took to not going downstairs to pee at night, he took to going in the corner of the bedroom. When she asked him why he was doing that he said because the old lady on the stairs won't let him pass. Now, I could argue that children in that age group have excellent imaginations and oftentimes even fabricate invisable friends. And I have argued that very thing, but the girlie, well she saw the old coot herself. So either his imagination is so good he can project his visions for her to see, or she actually saw a ghost. I must state unequivocally here that she is not taken to flights of fancy, and I believe she saw something, I just don't believe it was a ghost. Maybe her imagination conjured up the spook. Maybe a fleeting shadow from a drape being blown in the wind from an open window cast a very ghostlike imge in her psyche. Or, who knows, maybe I am wrong and there are ghost and she saw one. Who knows? Anywho... We verbally joust through the show, she offers up points that prove her theory, I offer up how some guy in the other room could be rapping on the wall for the sake of good television. I mean, there HAS to be spooky goings on, right? Who would watch a haunting show with no spooky stuff going on. But I digress. After a half hour of being scared out of my seat, I promptly fell asleep. I woke up about an hour later and shuffled off to bed. Friday night was, officially, in the books." ***INSTRUMENTAL BREAK*** "Ok. Saturday morning broke over the horizen and it was clear and cold. I woke up at 11 am (I am usually up around 8 or 9, but hey, it's the weekend!) and I promptly got into my truck and drove to 7-Eleven for my coffee. When I got into the truck I noticed my cell phone, which was on the charger had some voicemails on it. Upon calling the message place I found out my long lost sister Mishelley (Michele, I call her Mishelley), who I have not talked to in over three years, finally tracked my ass down, so I promptly called her back. "Two hours later after catching up on her life, and availing her of the awsomness that is her brother and what he has been up to (feel free to gag whenever) we hung up and I spent the rest of the afternoon blissful in just the company of the girlie. "About 6 I decided that me and the girlie have not done anything together alone in well over the year. Usually we do things as a family, and hey, that is wonderful in and of itself, but sometimes grownups need time away from the kids. So I called up the girlies Mother and asked if she would watch Kelsey and Karter while we went out for a couple hours. She agreed, and one of the best nights we ever had was soon to pass. "Without even knowing where we were going, we dropped the kids off at her mothers, I went to the bank and took out $80, and we were off to see what trouble we could get in. We ended up at a bar in Jefferson, Oregon where the brother of one of her friends is the bartender. I opened up on a mug of the dark lager beer they had on tap, and the girlie had some drink that tasted so sour it was...well, let's just say it wasn't ordered again. I looked around and noticed everyone was in costume, we happened upon a Holloween party! There were pimps (at least I think THEY were in a costume), and ghouls and goblins. A couple of mad jokers, even a zombie or two were all getting pleasantly schnockered. Another round of beer for me and a strawberrie daiquery followed, and they fired up the kaoroke machine, I looked around me again and decided I was having fun. Among the witches and hobbits and wayward vagabond characters, it hit me...I had the most beautiful girlie in the place. So I leaned over and asked for an eskimo kiss and was told OH HELL NO! The girlie doesn't do SDOPA's! (Spontaneous Displays Of Public Affection). After six years you would have thought I would have learned, but hey, can't blame a guy for trying! The girlie and I so enjoyed kicking back and just people watching. At one point she pointed out some guy dressed in short shorts, a cut off wife beater and a black fro'ish wig who was dancing with a...Penis. Hey, it's a bar, people! You expect wholesome Raggedy Ann and Andies?! So I laughed and chuckled and looked over at the girlie. She wasn't watching the wierdo and the Penis at all, but staring at me, lost in thought. Our hands joined and we could have been the only people in the bar, or the world for that matter, in that very moment. It was magical. ***MUSICAL INTERLUDE*** "Okay, the next round of booze was Coronas, two limes and one lemon please. The girlie decided that she was going to sing a karoake song, so she chose a song from Tracy Chapman (Fast Car?) and wowed the whole place with a very good rendition. The whole bar appreciated it, although I was the only fool holding up a lighter. You had to be there. A last and final round of Coronas with two limes and one lemon saw us safely out the door. (We hung around a bit to make sure we were ok to drive, we are nothing if not responsible) "A late night stop at Denny's finished off the festivities and we went to pick up the kids. After getting home we went to bed where we fell asleep in each others arms and big smiles on our faces. "Sunday Morning hits and we decide to go to the pumpkin patch! So, early afternoon we load the kids up, head off to a local instituation called Grandpas and spent a couple hours combing over the fields for just the right pumkins. They had those cutouts, you know where you insert head and snap a picture, so I posed with the kids while the girlie did the honors. We bought 8 pumpkins and was going to spend the evening carving away, and she was going to bake her world famous pumpkin cookies, then finish up the evening watching "Celebrity Paranormal" (Suprise, suprise!) but something wierd happened. Between Grandpas and the house, about a twenty minute drive things went... "I miss my family and I am sorry I was not able to share in the family tradition this year. That's all I got to say about that. ***In Conclusion*** "If you stayed with this for the ending, boy did you get ripped. But you deserve it, you sat and read more of nothing then you probably deserved. As for me, How glamrous, huh? Just think, TGO is as boring as..well, you. ***Standing up and stretching. Putting jacket and hat back on and picking up cane. Draining the whole glass of Moscato and adjusting bowtie*** Suckers." ***The stage fades to total black.*** *"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, TGO HAS LEFT THE BUILDING"* Currently listening : Loser By Beck Release date: By 18 January, 1994 8:53 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Random Observations and Much Deserved Kudos

Friday, October 27, 2006

Random Observations and Much Deserved Kudos Current mood: contemplative Hello folks! Ok. I don't know why, but I have a wierd compulsion to write this. I shouldn't be. There are about 97 different things I should be doing right now, 94 of them legal enterprises, but for some strange reason...I sit here at the computer about to address you all. You deserve it. So, this is going to be, by far, such a mess of a blog that it will be Seinfeldish (Self described show about nothing) of GINORMOUS proportions. Kudos, observations and over all gibberish. So, without further adiu, if I spelled that right, let's get to it, shall we? OBSERVATION: Why can't a person who is a fan of, oh, let's say professional wrestling, commonly referred to as a mark, when they are so fortunate to be let into the personal inner circle of a wrestler they mark out for, make the transition from a mark to a friend? Heres the difference: a mark cheers, pants over, ogles and whorships the ground the intended "victim" walks on. A "friend" of said wrestler will understand that hey, he (or she) is just a person, too. A human being who happens to have a job entertaining you, and who does it well. They are no better then you, have friends and family and LIVES, just like you. They have their problems just like you. The only difference is, their world is just a bit more expanded then yours. More people know their names. More people are vying for their attention. So it goes without saying that they must spread themselves out more thinly to cover more bases and more people then you do. Let's say you have 10 close, personal friends. The wrestler happens to have THOUSANDS. People he don't know and their brother even, as friends. It is patently absurd to expect, or even entertain the idea of getting a personal response to each and every contact you try to make to him. GET REAL PEOPLE! Kudo: Marty Jannetty, your friendship and guidance has meant more to me then you will ever know. I think we share enough in common to see where the other person is coming from, and it tickles me to death you allow me to offer you advise about your blogs! Somehow you saw fit to nominate me Speaker of the House...of Misfitz, a role I both get a chuckle from, but still take somewhat seriously. I will always look out for you brotherman, that's a promise. Thank you for being my friend. Kudo: My dear Addicus-san! I have so enjoyed out verbal jousts, and, without busting you out here on this blog, I know where you are coming from. I wish you the best of luck in your life, and I hope your pending marraige is filled with all the love and security that you and your children deserve. Thank you for allowing me to "help keep you in check." I will always be your "Bro007!" Ok, time to take a break and do the dishes. ***INTERMISSION*** OBSERVATION: The death of regional territories on the wrestling circuit. It pains me to no end that I live in a literal historical hotbed of Pro Wrestling. PNW was "the sh*t" at one time. Don Owen and his promotion gave rise to Jesse Ventura, Dutch Savage, Buddy Rose, Jimmy Snuka, was the home of Roddy Piper. Sadly it is all gone now. Except for an occasional show here and there, this place is dead. And that makes it hard on guys like me, young up and comers. You can train, as I am with Playboy Buddy Rose and Colonel DeBeers, no better training to be found anywhere, but you can only go so far. You need in ring experience in front of crowds. I can't BUY my way onto a card, anywhere. And if I was to travel to a show, it's not like I would make enough to at least pay for the trip, which I would gladly do. You all think I am kidding when I address any and all wrestling promoters "WILL WORK FOR FOOD...AND TRANS", but I am dead serious. Hell, I'll even starve if I could only get the trans paid, and gladly so. And if it was in reasonable driving distance I would foot the trans bill too. My pay would be in experience, but thus far no one has bit. That is why I am such a fan in my good friend Gordo, the Wizard of Id! Through him and his exciting recaps of the hotbed of Indie pro Wrestling that is the greater Ontario region I get to live vicariously through him! And it makes my heart proud that someplace, somewhere, indie wrestling is not dead, but flourishing! KUDOS: Gordo, your words of support and your very well done wrestling recaps give me something to work towards. I am so honored that you take the time to follow me, as I am a unproven commodity in this game. I can only promise to give em hell out there, but If I am going to make it, you will be a big reason why. I know this. Thank you for being there. HSTeach A/K/A Mike, Your success is my success Mike! We are both wrestling fans, where I choose to wrestle as a way to participate, you choose to promote, which is by far a tougher row to hoe. And doing it very well. Your BSE shows are quickly becoming the stuff of legend, and with your continued success I draw amazing strength that if you can succeed, I can too. And it is my goal to someday wrestle on a card that you are promoting! Thank you for being my friend. Charminator! As written above, your flefgling work in participating and promoting is offering me some of the same encouragment. You have been with me since day one, so when I say to people when I make it, you make it too, it applies to you more so then everyone else. Thanks for being my "fan" way before I need any. Big "D" A/K/A Wilma A/K/A Sandy, You, my dear, are absolutley AWSOME! You allow me to cut up and be silly when the world is getting me down. I never explained to you my troubles, and you are such a good friend that you never asked. You accept me for me, good and bad, and that speaks more to me then anything ever could. I enjoy our "PARTAS" (Yes, I meant to spell it Partas) they truly put a smile on my face whenever you let me know how much fun I had at them! (For those of you who don't understand, oh well, she knows what I mean and that's what counts). And for allowing me to bring the ripple and spyke the punch. OBSERVATION: Man, are we in trouble. With no way out of Iraq in the forseeable future, a pussyfooting government that is too afraid to step on any toes to get the job done, to N. Korea Madness and Iran Nuclear Pipe Dreams, we are, indeed, in some dangerous times. So, whether you agree with the "war" or not, support the troops. They didn't ask to be sent there, but since they are, they are fighting for us and deserve all the help, support and love that we can give them. KUDOS Marc Ferrari. I especially enjoy your rants. Don't get me wrong my friend, your wrestling career is fascinating to me, and I am forever thankful that you are blazing the way for ham ~n~ eggers such as myself, but I love reading your personal thoughts on the world in general. You don't know me from Adam, but we agree on tons of points in the world as a whole, and where we disagree we can do that with respect for the other. It would be an extreme honor to meet someday and talk over world domination over coffee sometime. I'll bring my preferred card from Starbucks and we'll sit, talk and dish, dish, dish! MARC FERRARI FOR PRESIDENT! Ok, that's enough for now. I have to do some laundery anyway, and get to the girlies where there is a bad situation I am not at liberty to tell you all of. Oh, don't worry, me and the girlies fine, there is a medical ordeal within the family. For those of you not mentioned, only the sheer time it takes and the size of this blog precludes you from being mentioned. All the well wishes and comments and overall good vibes touch me in the heart each and every day, and I am so thankful to you all for doing it. You guys mean alot, and I promise that I will pay you all back by doing what I am doing in making it in wrestling, and WE will all make it together! ~Chris Currently listening : You'll Never Walk Alone By Elvis Presley Release date: By 26 September, 2006 12:04 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

ROUNDING OUT THE TOTAL WRESTLER

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

ROUNDING OUT THE TOTAL WRESTLER Current mood: tired Hello folks! Well, it is now time to kick this endeavor of making it straight to the top of the wrestling world to the next level. As I have preached to you monkeys before, it takes more then learning how to do some moves that makes you a quality wrestler. There are actually so many facets and levels it takes to become a well rounded performer, that to master them all would be a complete impossibility. The really good wrestlers master one or two aspects, and have a very good understanding of several more. So, like I said, you need to learn the moves, the basics are your solid foundation. Beyond that you need to learn the subtleness of psychology, how to control the crowd, how to keep them wanting more, captivated by all you do in the ring. You need to learn how to talk, to fire off promos, and within that aspect you have several other things to learn. You need to learn how to focus your thoughts to whatever it is you want to convey with PASSION. You have to learn how to look angry, sound sad, act perplexed and often times within the same 40 second camera shot. You have to practice on when you get in that ring, you OWN that ring! You need to learn that when you are shooting in front of a camera, both TV and still shots, that the person looking in feels like you are talking just to them, and the same goes for while you are wrestling, you need to make each and every person feel like you are putting on a show for them, and them alone. Even though there may be hundreds or thousands in attendance. And the kicker is you have to do all this with your own limitations in mind. I am not tall. 5'10 in my boots. So I can't act like a giant. I am rather big in frame, so I can't act like an airial flyer either. So I have to do these things, like I said, with me limitations in mind. I am already training, so I am learning the basics. That is my foundation and everything works off of that. I plan on, at a later date, taking acting lessons at the local college, that will help with my timing and on camera self. But now it's time to start the next faze of my endeavor in shaping me into a viable contender to wrestling promoters. That is my physical self. Hey, I have to look good, like I am a guenuine azz kicker don't I? It takes more then a chubby person with no physique in a wife beater shirt to portray a viable threat in the ring. The whole point of it all is to be able to suspend the audiance disbelief for a while. And I am sorry, if you don't look the part then it isn't going to happen. So, taking my physicality into consideration, I am a thick guy. I gain muscle ridiculously easily, and with a proper diet I can cut the fat. But in order to pack on more muscle mass I need to eat a ton more calories, as it is in this state the muscle grows. I already covered the mechanics in a previous post on the subject, so I won't bore you with that again. But this is the plan, man. I am getting back in the gym. I have a month of acclimating my body to take the punishment of grinding out solid muscle growing workouts, this should last for a month. Then I am hitting the bulking section hard, and I should grow like a weed. I mean follow the program to the letter, the diet, the workouts the supplements, the whole nine yards. That is a solid three month cycle, followed by a two month cycle of fat shedding. I should come out of the other side of this in the hunt to making it big. Oh, and I will repeat as often as necessary until I am the genetically freakish brut I was born to be. But this is what I propose to do... I am going to take measurements. Document my progress. I will take before and after pics (NO, NOT SHIRTLESS AT FIRST, WAIT TIL I GET RIPPED!) I am going to weigh myself, take neck, chest, waist, bicep and thigh measurements and see where I am after each cycle. I weigh somewhere around 270, I am hoping to add a ton of muscle, lost two tons of fat and be a ripped 235 to 250, somewhere in that window. But I am documenting everything! Ok, November 1st is D Day, the acclimation period. No need to measure then, I am just loosening up the old muscles and getting my body ready for the torture yet to come. After I get a handle on this, then it's acting class time! And then I DARE WWE or TNA to ignore US! Until next time, ~TGO Currently watching : Beyond the Mat (Unrated Director's Cut) (Ringside Special Edition) Release date: By 23 March, 2004 2:41 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

10/22 Wrestling Training Recap

10/22 Wrestling Training Recap
Current mood: melancholy
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Hello, folks!

Well, this is going to be a short post...wrestling was cancelled this past weekend, and most likely next weekend too. I can't get into the specifics of why, but we should be in action again soon enough. So, sorry all!

Secondly...It is my duty to inform you that Fast Eddie Falco, the dynamic, supercool Cat Burgler/Thug I was to portray is gone. Dead. Never to grace a wrestling ring again. The promoter who was putting a show together and who's fruitful mind (Or should I say futile? LOL) gave life to Fast Eddie backed out, so there is no show, nor series of shows. I am really bummed at this news as I was really looking forward to seeing Eddie in action, even though he was going to have a fast career.

Oh, how I long for the golden days of Portland Wrestling! Don Owen and the rest. You all have no idea what it's like to have the passion for wrestling in a place that is historical and steeped in wrestling tradition, but is now dead and devoid of much of what made it great. I don't think I'll ever get to apply my trade here.

So, time to sign off, from the Great Pacific Northwest, the land without a wrestling scene.

~TGO

Currently listening : On the Road Again By Willie Nelson Release date: By 12 March, 2002

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Out the Door...With A Bad Haircut...

Friday, October 20, 2006

Out the Door...With A Bad Haircut... Current mood: scared Hey everyone! Just a quick note before I dash out the door for the weekend at the girlies and wrestling on Sunday... The sides of my head, around my ears was starting to look a little bushy so I decided I would give myself a little trim. I realize now being a self imposed barber isn't in my bag of tricks. Let's just say a little off this side, a little off that side...oops, they are not even, so I'll try to match it up. Damn, now the other side isn't even, oh well, I'll just trim that to match it up with the previous uneven side. Do you see where this is going? Suffice it to say, I now have a buzzcut. I mean buzzed to the nub. And the girlie is gonna be pissed! You see, the last time this happened (Oh yes, there was a previous) the girlie absolutely forbade me to EVER give myself another haircut. But my line of thinking was I would get it right sooner or later. I guess the later is yet to come. I think it looks sexy. She'll think I look like a putz, but one thing is for sure, I don't think glue will work for me, that's a lot of gluing! I wonder if I have time to go to Mo's Big Time House of Hair and find me a toupe until this grows back? Do you think she'll notice? OK, I AM OFF! If you don't hear from me it's because I am too busy being killed by the girlie. This is gonna hurt.... Later! (Hopefully) ~TGO Currently reading : Ultra Black Hair Growth II 2000 Edition By Cathy Howse Release date: By October, 2000 4:56 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Wrestling Training Recap 10/15...WITH PICS!

Wrestling Training Recap 10/15...WITH PICS!
Current mood: amused
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Ok, Kiddies, time for the long awaited blog post for the Wrestling Taining Recap and what I am at liberty to tell you about some shows on the horizon.

First of all, yesterday was one day for the bizaar. If Rod Serling was still alive I would have thought he was lurking around the shadows taking notes for another episode of the Twilite Zone.

So, me and the big guy (Rick, my best friend and the one I drafted to come snap the pictures I am to post today) get up to Portland to the gym and we arrive about 10 minutes early. Now please remember that this is in the Pacific Northwest, so needless to say it was raining, and very very cold outside. Everyone shows up directly, and the keeper of the key is late. Very late. I mean superduper late. How late?

Class starts at 9 am. At 10:30 the locksmith Buddy Rose called finally arrived and "let us"in.

And this was just the beginning!

You all know, because I told you, that a promoter was to be in attendance, and he actually showed up! So this wasn't a typical day from the get go, I guess there is a lot in the plans, so we only had token wrestling going on, between being called away for promo pictures for fliers, and the media guy who shot some spots for some commercials to be aired to hype the upcoming show/shows. I don't know if the promoter has just a series of shows in mind, or wants to start a regular fed, but this first shindig is to be a test show, and I guess we'll take it from there.

However...

I got saddled with the name "Fast Eddie Falco". And I hate it, but why that name of all names, you may all be thinking? Well, because I guess the promoter is the one with the money, and if he say's that your name is Fast Eddie Falco, you're Fast Eddie. Oh, yeah, here is a picture of Fast Eddie Falco, look long and hard because after this series of shows FEF is retiring!

I guess you can all see that I am to be portraying a burgeler. If I spelled that right, a thief. Oh, and my tag partner (I forgot to mention that, huh?) is Cameron Star, only he was rechristianed my brother...Kirby!

Where did our heads go, you might ask? Ask Rick, I don't know he was thinking! Other then oops that is. There was another one of us taken, but I will spare you the picture of Me and,errr, Kirby posing shirtless with leather jackets (Borrowed from someone about three sizes smaller then us) because, believe me, you guys are not ready for my pudge quite yet. Damn I got to hit the gym...and SOON!

BTW...Do you guys prefer me bearded up like in my profile pic, or clean shaven like Fast Eddie? I prefer the beard, it helps disguise my double chin. Oh, yes, I got one as you guys will soon see.

And, in between the promo's...

This was actually taken whilst we was waiting for the promoter. But I didn't really wrestle any matches as it was primarily a media day.

And when I wasn't posing for pics with bad visuals to be portayed on fliers, I found time to pull Buddy Rose and Colonel DeBeers aside for this:


Ok. As alluded to above, we shot some tv spots and me and Kirby/Cameron were somewhat of a hit. First of all I must explain that Cameron is actually an accomplished wrestler. He works most every weekend and is a lot better a worker then I am, both in the ring and in cutting promos. So who do you think would have as the speaker, and who would be the strong silent type? Nope, if you guessed Cameron, you would be mistaken. I was handed a mic, told what to say, with my own touch of poetic license thrown in of course, and the next thing I know we were rolling film.

And I couldn't get it. I mean, really. This is what I was SUPPOSED to say:

"OCTOBER 28TH. BURNS, OREGON, AT BURNS HIGH SCHOOL. GWPW (GLOBAL WORLD PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING) WILL NEVER BE THE SAME WHEN ME, FAST EDDIE FALCO, AND MY BROTHER KIRBY HERE COME TO TOWN TO STEAL THE SHOW! SO LOCK UP YOUR TVS! LOCK UP YOUR BIKES, LOCK UP EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR, BECAUSE IF ME AND KIRBY DON'T SEE YOU AT BURNS HIGH SCHOOL WE'LL BE AT YOUR HOUSE LIKE THIEFS IN THE NIGHT AND PULL YOU IDIOTS OUT OF BED! GOT THAT? BURNS HIGH SCHOOL. BURNS OREGON. GWPW. OCTOBER 28TH. YOU BETTER BE THERE!"

But it went more like this"

"BOURNE, OREGON..."

"Cut!" Oops. Take 2.

"BURNS, OREGON, OCT 28TH. GPWW..."

"Cut!" Oops again. Take 3.

Take 4

Take 5

You see where this is going, right?

Then it happened. Kirby, my new brother, got tired of playing the strong silent type and took to whispering my lines to me. But he was obvious, and they loved it. Do you see the irony in it all? Fast Eddie Falco, Pillsbury Dough Boy Fast Eddie Falco. Pillsbury Dough Boy who can't remember a damn thing Fast Eddie Falco. Kind of an Oxymoron enigma. Everyone in attendance cheered when we finished it because I guess it was funny. It was like a John Waters movie so bad it was good kinda thing. That was what I was told by the way.

I wish I had more pics for you guys, but click happy Rick was snapping pictures of everyone and their mothers so the camera filled up rather quickly. However he kinda likes the idea of being TGO's media guy, so he will be on hand to snap many more for the future. In fact he said something about busting out his video camera and editing stuff so there shall be video accomponiments real soon.

Until next week...

~TGO

Currently watching : Welcome Back, Kotter (Television Favorites Compilation) Release date: By 28 February, 2006

11:43 PM - 12 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Bulking up, then Cutting back down

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Bulking up, then Cutting back down Current mood: determined Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes Hello all! Ok, so you all know that becoming a pro wrestler is much more then learning the moves, right? And I am not talking "learning the psychology" either, even though that is even more important then learning the moves itself. What I mean is turning my fat ass into a muscular fighting machine. Face it, except for a few notable exceptions like Mick Foley, Big Vis, Rikishi, Samoa Joe and the like, not having a decent body and being a pro wrestler is an oxymoron. I am constrained in a few areas, such as I am not tall by wrestling standards, 5'10 in my wrestling boots. In today's wrestling rings you need decent height or one hell of a hook, like a good body. This is how I stack up. I am big. I am not going to be a high flier, I am not built for that. To do so would shorten my wrestling career and open up others I am working with to a bigger chance of getting hurt. I am built a lot like Tazz is/was. With that being said, I need to find my own identity, so I can not pattern my style after his or anyone else's. So we have come to the conclusion that I am not tall, and I am rather stocky. Always have been, so what to do, what to do? Well, I think I have come up with a conclusion. You WILL NOT ever see me wrestling shirtless. If I was to somehow get my bodyfat to ridiculously low levels I STILL would never be mistaken with a Hollywood Hard Body. That's just not in my cards. What I DO have going for me is I gain muscle mass ridiculously easy. Unfortunately that also lends itself to gaining fat mass on a slightly higher ease scale as well. What I need to do is find the happy median and gain as much muscle mass as possible whilst cutting my fat stores to as low a level as possible. Couple that with a creative wardrobe ensemble and I think I can fit right in. So, this is what I want to do... I plan on taking stock in where I stand, physically. At the turn of this year I was hit by THREE bouts of severe pneumonia that saw me in the hospital for several days on two separate occasions. I was out of action for over two months while I was recuperating, then when I came back (Too early and against the doctors orders) I suffered a deep venous thrombosis that turned into one hell of a bloodclot in my leg. So, suffice it to say it was back to the hospital for yet another stay, as they can be dangerous. In fact, part of the blood clot broke free from my leg and traveled to my lung, which is called a pulmonary embolism, and those can be fatal. I was put on Coumadin, a blood thinner, a medication I take to this very day. One good thing I found out is that I am prone to those deep venous thrombosis-majobbers, so as long as I wrestle I have to be on the rat poison, but my Dr assured me it is safe to wrestle provided I get regular check ups and take adequate precautions, which I have done. I feel good not that I am prone to those things, but I found out I am susceptible, no major damage was done, so now I know what to look for and how to protect myself. But since my training was curtailed I lost most of the progress I made at the gym. The picture you see on my profile was actually taken before I got sick, so since then I chubbed it up a bit. The good news? I was about as chubbed before I hit the gym as I am now, and got into that shape very quickly, and I have no doubt I can do it, and better, again. Actually I was still in the infant stage of bulking up, I wasn't even close to peaking! So I am going to hit the gym again. I am going to lift for a month, nothing major or too heavy as I am just trying to acclimate my body for the real torture that is yet to come. After that first month I am going to take neck, bicep, waist, thigh and calf measurements, calculate my BMI and then go on the killer of killers three month bulk building cycle. Now, since I am trying to pack on as much muscle mass as possible it is going to look like I am chubbing up even more, and to an extent I am. But it is a proven fact to gain muscle you have to eat ridiculous amounts of calories, as much as 4 or 5 THOUSAND calories a day. You mere mortals are supposed to eat around 1200 to 1800 calories. But, like I said, it is physically impossible to built muscle mass in a calorie deficit, dieting, you need to be in a surplus, and the trick is to put on a ton of weight in muscle, and hopefully not too much fat. You will ad fat of course, but if you manipulate things like carbs and proteins and fats, the chub is minimized. And, if you didn't know, the more muscle one has on their body the more fat you burn as your metabolism is constantly on fire. After the Mass cycle will follow a two month cutting cycle, for which and upon completion the before mentioned bodyparts and BMI will be retaken. I will then take a month off, and start over again until I get to where I want to be, a genetic freak of nature! And thus my ticket to superstardom, my "HOOK". My question to you guys is, and this is in keeping with the interactive part of US making it to the top of the wrestling world together, does any of you have any bodybuilding experience? I am not an expert in the field, so any pointers would be greatly appreciated. Please comment back on what you think, any support and well wishes and POINTERS, if you got em. Take care, and I'll be thinking of you all when my muscles are screaming from the lactic acid buildup when I am pumping the iron! Currently watching : Jay Cutler - Ripped to Shreds Release date: By 31 May, 2005 1:39 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Ok, Time In From The Time Out!

Monday, October 09, 2006 Ok, Time In From The Time Out! Current mood: determined Category: Jobs, Work, Careers Hello all! So, I just wanted to entertain you all with the fact that I am now, officially back from being on the down low. There was no wrestling training recap for this past week, for obvious reasons, but I am looking forward to Sunday when I get back to the grind, as they say. My training, before this past week, has been just getting better and better, and I am truly excited about my future. So this weekend I AT LEAST promise some high quality photo evidence to the fact my training is going awsome, and soon, very soon in fact, I plan on documenting my chronicles on video, for which I will upload to Youtube.com so that you all may get a feel for where I am at, offer advise on what you see and really get involved in this endeavor. I am trying to think of ways that will let you all participate as I truly meant it that I am not doing this alone, WE ARE ALL DOING THIS TOGETHER, SO MY SUCCESS IS YOUR SUCCESS! If anyone has any ideas on being interactive, by all means drop a comment or email! Take care, and I'll talk to you all later! ~Chris Currently listening : The Rocky Story: The Original Soundtrack Songs From The Rocky Movies (Soundtrack Anthology) By Various Artists Release date: By 01 July, 1991 10:19 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Monday, October 02, 2006

10/1 Wrestling Training Recap and I BEAT THRASH! Current mood: indescribable Last week I reported to you all that I had the best weekend up at Buddy and Colonels school that I ever had. I venture to say that this weekend surpassed even last week! And not just because I FINALLY ended up on the winning side of things in regards to Thrash, but because my psychology has really started to come along. Any numb nut can learn the wrestling moves, but if you can't tell a story, then you are in the wrong business. Someone said that, and I believe them! (Right, Colonel?) HA! Ok, first a little background on the day. I woke up actually on time this morning, 6:30, and I just didn't feel right. Have any of you felt just blah? You can't put your finger on it, but everything just seems off. You're tired, but your not. Your head doesn't hurt, but it has a headache sitting off to the side waiting for the opportune time to strike. Your body feels weak, a deep breath feels like arctic wind carousing around in there. But, at least in that stage of the day, it was all very mild. Three cups of coffee, a bearclaw and and hour north drive to Portland later and my symptoms kicked it up a notch. By the time I grabbed my bag and headed into the gym I fully expected to have a sub par day. But this is where you just won't understand what wrestling does to a person unless you have stepped between the ropes: when it's showtime you feel like you could move the world. And in my case, today, I did. I only wrestled in two matches today, the first in a tag match that mid way through turned into a three man (Well, five guy's and a girl) tag, and finished up a handycap match. Confused? So am I, but here is what I remember. It was Malachi and myself as heels vs Collin and Elvis. Then it was Malachi , myself AND Bud Barbers Girlfriend (For the sake of my slow typing, henceforth referred to as BBGF) vs Collin, Elvis and Bud Barber. Then it finished up as Malachi, Myself and BBGF vs just Collin and Elvis again, I don't know what happened to Bud. One minute I was kicking his ass in the ring, then I tagged out to BBGF, Bud tagged out to Elvis and Bud? He just kinda disapeared. I wish I could remember what happened to him, but like I said, I wasn't feeling that good! Basically the match could have been better. There were some points of sheer genius (not on my behalf, but on my teammates and opponents, with just enough of me to round it off). And there were some moments of absolute mediocrity. But it wasn't us messing up that made the match less then what it could have been, it was laid back, light hearted and performed under passivity. That's the best way I can explain it. For instance I was in the ring wrestling Collin, he had my arm, and he called for me to slam him. As I did, I stood over Collin mugging for the crowd, or lack there of as it were, and planning an awsome leg drop to pop the few people that were there. But, through clenched teeth and pretty good selling, Collin hissed at me to cover him. Now, like I said, I am working on my psychology, and am very happy with how it's coming along. It made absolutely no sense to cover Collin for the pin at that moment because we were in the ring for about 45 seconds. Maybe if I was a face and I was attempting to get a quick, clean win, but damn it, I am a heel! How dastardly does that look? But, since I am at least a consumate team player I covered him. Of course he kicked out, and I was left trying to reestablish myself as a heel again. But I learned a valuable lesson, when a mistake happens, and I can correct it, do so. I should have finished hamming, then dropped the leg drop, what was he gonna do, not take it? Anyway, after a little more tussling around Collin got the tag to Bud and he proceeded to "Hulk up", my team storms the ring and it was a pier six brawl with Bud dropping each of us in succession. After the ring cleared, I got the upperhand on Bud for a second, then he reversed a headlock into a hammerlock and I was left stretching to make the tag. Of course I couldn't make it, as Bud did a good job of keeping me away from my corner, but after a few moments I had the opportunity to shoot Bud into the ropes and delivered the clothesline from hell. as I covered him, Collin came in to break up the pin attempt and bitch slapped me upside the head a little too much zealousness. While I jacked my jaws with Collin, Bud got up, I put him in a headlock and Collin calls over, rather loudly, for me to make a tag. At this moment I am starting to think someone pissed in Collins Wheaties because he seemed to be a little too cocky and pushy for my liking, and he broke the cardinal rule: Never let the crowd hear you communicate. So, if Collin wasn't going to respect tradition and try to make me look bad, what did I care? I dropped the headlock I had Bud in, casually turned to my corner and tagged in BBGF, leaving Bud standing there like WTF? Hey, don't blame me, blame Collin! At that point Bud disapeared. I don't know where he went, other then assuming he didn't want no part in mine and Collins pissing contest, so he bailed. The finish was Malachi pulling the ref in front of a charging Elvis, which resulted in Elvis putting on the brakes, being distracted and getting schoolboyed by Malachi with the help of his feet on the bottom rope and a handful of tights. My second match was with THRASH! For those of you who remember, the last three weeks have seen me and Thrash lock it up with him coming out on top the first two times. In week one I tried to wrestle scientifically while Thrash brawled, and I lost to him when I got gored by his nappy ass. Last week I brawled while he wrestled a scientic style wrestling match and I was happily kicking his tail from pillar to post when, once again, I succuumed to yet another gore. But today I had his number! As far as pretty wrestling goes, there was none of that. I honestly don't remember a legit wrestling hold the whole match. It was a brawl to the end, and the psychology? It was spot on! The match started with A LOT of hamming it up for the masses not in attendance. Thrash started out by doing the old cupping of the ear, a la Hulk Hogan, to get a reaction from the crowd. Of course not to be outdone, I did it to prove I could and got hissed damn near out of the ring. After that tom foolery was over we locked it up. I pushed Thrash into the corner, and did not break, resulting in the referee coming between us to break us up. While the ref's head was down I slapped Thrash in the face. We locked up again, I pushed Thrash into the corner again, this time, when the ref tried to break us up, I slapped him rather hard in the belly, resulting in a loud THWACK sound. We locked it up a third time, this time he drove me into the corner, but broke it clean. We locked up for a fourth time and, huh? I broke it clean! "What?', you may be thinking? Well, when Thrash came out of the corner towards me I gave him a viscious knee to the midsection. Pretty good, huh? Oh, there was about another 12 minutes to go in the match. At one point I threw his happy ass out of the ring and then proceeded to bash his skull into the apron. As the referee got to seven or so I rolled back into the ring, then back out to break the count. I rolled him back into the ring, but before I could get in myself he stomped me in the head, resulting in me falling back to the ground below. As I pulled myself back up, Thrash ran to the opposite ropes to pick up speed, and gave me a very well executed baseball slide to the face. It totally rocked! Fast forward another minute and I was back in the ring and back into control. I was sitting atop his back, raising him up in a chin lock his hands and knees, at which time I would jump as high as my 270 lb lead ass would go and bring my self down onto his back thus driving him back down again. I did this twice, the third time he moved out of the way, resulting in me taking an ass bump and sitting there with a very pained expression on my face. Thrash then hit the ropes and charged, hitting me with a dropkick straight in the puss. It was beautiful. We went back and forth brawling for the next few minutes when it happened. I was working his head in a particular viscious fashion when he snuck in an armdrag. I got up and he ddt'd me. Then he hit the ropes and I powerslammed his ass. After he kicked out I got up to yell at the ref, who was totally a mark for Thrash. As I turned, out of the blue, Thrash gave me a "GORE! GORE!! GORE!!!" Now, if you remember, I was in the middle of working Thrash over good, and I just gave him a powerslam. So it took all Thrashes faculty's to execute the gore, and he was unable to cover me immediatly. A good 10 seconds or so and finally Thrash draped an arm over me and I kicked out at 2 and 9/10's. OK, it was time to bring the match home. Thrash picked me up and threw me into the corner. He then went to the opposite corner and came barreling at me for a gore that would have finished me off, as I was in the turnbuckles and unable to fall back when the gore hit, thusly and most likely causing major internal injuries. So Thrash comes in and my momma didn't raise no dummy, I got the hell out of the way. After Thrash successfully gored the ringpost I dispatched the ref by clocking him until he hit the mat and kicked him all the way under the ropes. The damn biased prick! I then hit Thrash in the nuts and rolled him up, for which case a ref I had on my side came into the ring and counted 1-2-3. The third time is the charm! There were actually several matches after that, but I was not in them. And there was a newbie in attendance, so he got a bunch of ringtime while some of the vets went over monkeys with him. Colonel DeBeers came over, congratulated me and AGAIN praised my bumps (It is my goal to be able to take the best bumps out of everyone, and so far I think I am succeeding!) After the matches Buddy Rose called us all into the ring, it so happens that tomorrow is Thrashes Birthday, and in keeping with tradition, everyone get's a chance to deliver Birthday chops to the birthday boy! But Thrash, being slightly deranged, immediatly took his shirt off, assumed the position at a corner and we lined up to give him what amounts to a birthday spanking pro wrestling style! And he appeared to enjoy it! Ok, before I close this out, I want to officially give out birthday kudos to both Thrash, and to one of my favorite Marty Jannetty Misfitz Mafia Carol: Thrash, I want to tell you that I have enjoyed our battles in the ring! I feel that you bring out the best in me, and you are very easy to perform with. I sincerely hope that you have a wonderful year ahead of you! I look forward to working with you inthe future, as you are by far my favorite person to wrestle. Carol. I have not known you very long, but in that time I come to view you as a very valuable MySpace friend! I like your sense of humour, the things you write in someone we both know but shall remain nameless to protect the guilty blog comments never fails to bring a smile to my face. I hope that you have a wonderful year ahead of you, and heres to many, many more, on account of you being 16....again! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU BOTH! Ok, next week I am hoping to have some pictures of me in action. One of these day's I'll commandeer a video recorder so you guys can see me in real time, but until then, pics will have to do! Later Gators, ~Chris Currently listening : Best of Schoolhouse Rock By Various Artists Release date: By 03 November, 1998 1:21 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment